Brain Food!: March 2010

Most people have seen Hot Shots & Hot Shots Part Deux, the 2 best spoof movies of the 90's that took the piss out of Top Gun & Rambo.

Here is a video containing the best character, Admiral Benson, played by Lloyd Bridges (Jeff Bridges' ol' man, don't ya know?) with all the best dialogue. Along with Leslie Nielson he was a master of dead-pan humour!

"Roy? Roooooy?...............Bah!"

The Russians abandoned all this military hardware after they used them to sort out the accident. You'd think somebody would take the stuff but it's all radioactive right down to the smallest bolt. That place is still a no-go area and will be for decades........I think I'll stick with those Russian post-apocalyptic games.

Now they just sit out in the open rusting away.........that or the radiation is going to make them come alive like Transformers or something.

I wonder if I touch it will I get some superpowers?..........probably sprout an extra radioactive head!
Abandoned Russian army scrap metal 4

At last the theatrical trailer for The Expendables is online with a much better layout than the 1st leaked footage I posted up earlier in the month.

Plus we get a look at Sly, Bruce Willis, and Arnie in the same scene. That's the bit I wanna see in the cinema!

While it's still not confirmed there was always worry over what the rating would be - PG-13 or 18s. The problem being that Lionsgate, the distributor, wanted to go with PG-13 to get a wider audience. Getting a cast like this? In an action movie? Just to get kiddies into the cinema? You can fuck right off!

Apparently, though, they made 2 cuts (1 PG-13 & the other 18s) and showed the 2 in a test screening..................the 18s version got a great reception so word is it's going to be the full whack! It won't be as bloody and OTT like Rambo 4 was but I don't think many movies could go in the direction that lunacy of a film was. Best film I ever laughed out loud to in a cinema, anyways!

Crap, August is too far away!!

Here's a video with a collection of Arnie's greatest quotes! This just makes me wanna watch his movies again, now!

"I leeve to see yuu eat dat contract! But I hope yuu levt enuff ruum for ma fist because I'm gonna rrrrram it into yur stomak and break yur goddamn spiiiiiiiiine!!! NNNNNNnnnnnnaarrrgghh!!"

Yep, original helmer Roland Emmerich (Who does all those CGI heavy but wafer-thin plot movies like Godzilla, The Day After Tomorrow, 2012) has been banging on about this for the past few months but lately more solid information has been put out.

Apparently, Will Smith is set for the 2 installments and they will be filmed back-to-back so they'll release the 2 films about 6 months apart (like Matrix Reloaded and Revolutions)

You're probably wondering why the hell anyone would make a sequel to this, especially after 14 years. Well, the obvious answer is money (the 1st took in about $800 million) and 20th Century Fox are swamped with money after the insane success of Avatar (2 point fucking 6 billion dollars?)

No doubt they'll look epicly brilliant but you'd find a better plot at the bottom of a potcheen bottle.

Again, these 2 are hoping to be set for a 2012-ish release before we all die that year.

Uncle Phil is gonna be real angry when he finds out what Will & Carlton did to the house.

So, word on the street is that Warner Bros. want to take another stab at Godzilla after the woefullness of the 1st time.

Yadda, yadda, so we're hearing the usual "We want to take it seriously" cack again but with nothing concrete as of yet everyone still has a bitter taste in their mouth from Ferris Bueller's encounter with the lizard.

The exec producer on board is renowned Thomas Tull (Dark Knight, 300, The Hangover, Watchmen, the new Clash Of The Titans) and he's full on for "taking it seriously". I suppose that's not a bad thing, really, just keep the original director Roland Emmerich the fuck away.

2012 is eyed up a release in cinemas..............you know, before we all die in December of that year if ya believe that shit.

Here's the teaser trailer of a scene that never made it into the final cut. The T-Rex skeleton was an obvious stab at Jurassic Park in terms of them having a bigger, meaner monster. The short sequence was quite a spicy meatball in terms of cost but did the job in getting people interested in a cewl monster flick....................little did they know, eh?

I'm back again after a week off normal web.............fuckin' bills!

Anywho, haven't been up to much except making a wallpaper with Rambo........busy, busy!

Look at the size of that machete, you know he's fucked up a few commies. Feel free to take it for yourselves.

"Cut my fucking internet, will ya!?!"

So a guy with either talent or too much time (or both) creates famous movie characters from lego.

The best I could muster when I had Lego was spend time building highly unstable skyscrapers and then destroying them!

Can you guess these 2? The one on the left is easy...

Here we have 21 banned condom ads from Durex, many which are quite clever actually!

Curse or gift?.............................................................................gift!

Then try this shot!

How sickened would you be if that last ball didn't go in? (Pool cue cracked over the closest head!)

Not everyone can be rich like Bruce Wayne so they gotta make do with duct-tape and hope!

Some of these are actually pretty cool, especially the one that resembles the 1st Batman movie mobile!

Batman had regretted not listening to Alfred when he bought shares in Velcro Socks

Those Japs, eh? When they set out to do something they don't pull any punches...............well, there was Pearl Harbour and all............*cough*

Anywho, every year Japanese rice farmers plant different types of rice in a pattern to create some pretty cool art!

The Aliens are just showing off with their crop circles now!

Here we have a feature on Stallone's upcoming action epic The Expendables. It's essentially a collection of all the info on the film from the filming up to what we can expect from the film!

Link HERE

This is definitely one of the biggest movies I wanna see this year!! A time-machine that only goes back to the 80's!

"Nnnnnaaaaaaaaaarggghh!!!"

For fuck sake, goth-obseesed helmer Tim Burton has gotten his mits onto another franchise! This time it's The Addams Family, in stop-motion - Alà The Corpse Bride or A Nightmare Before Christmas!

So, that's another remake soon to be under his belt, then, along with Alice In Wonderland, Planet Of The Apes, Charlie & The Chocolate Factory, and Sweeney Todd!

Who calls the bets that Johnny Depp and Helena Botham Carter will have something to do with this........and there'll be some musical numbers, too..................and it'll be in 3D?

So, I guess the remake-factory is in full swing then with Superman, Spiderman, Robocop, The Fly, Total Recall and about a thousand other films not even 30 years old are being rebooted for the near future!

I think Godzilla here sums up the scenario pretty nicely!

Ah fuck!! Another remake!?!

Here we have "that tune" that plays at the end credits of Kill Bill 1.

While it's got the samuari-style musical tone to it, it's actually a song composed by a Romanian called Gheorghe Zamfir. (Romanian Ninja? The guy has sold roughly 40 million records worldwide and has bagged a fuck load of awards for his flute playing. He's also known as "Zamfir, Master of the Pan Flute"

Anywho, I think it's a cool little number:

So me and the lads from college are meeting up on bank holiday weekend in May. It'll be the 1st time we've done anything together as a group in 2 damn years!

To keep us going until then I created a video compiled of all our old videos from yesteryear. Ah........seems like yesterday when I donned the tin-foil armour with Conn and made a jackass outta myself around the local shop..................was still a great day, though!!

Anywho, I threw in some "money shots" to spruce it up a bit. Go a bit Micheal Bay on the thing!

So here's the official trailer for the new Predators movie! Remember this is a sequel and not a reboot so some nods are going to be taking to the other 2 in this movie.

I'll give a warning that there's some spoilers in terms of kills here but you shouldn't really let that shit bother ya too much!

Looks good and I want to to think this movie will be good (better than Predator 2 anyways!) but after the disgrace that was AVP: Requiem I'm holding out until I see it!

Got something broke? Not sure how to fix the fuckin' thing? Well, I'm sure you couldn't be as crap at it as these pictures in this compilation from ThereIFixedIt

Christ, give me some tape and even I could do better!

From IMDB:

Four Lions tells the story of a group of British jihadists who push their abstract dreams of glory to the breaking point. As the wheels fly off, and their competing ideologies clash, what emerges is an emotionally engaging (and entirely plausible) farce. In a storm of razor-sharp verbal jousting and large-scale set pieces, Four Lions is a comic tour de force; it shows that-while terrorism is about ideology-it can also be about idiots.

Four Lions is a new film from satire king Chris Morris (The Day Today, Jam, Brass Eye) that focuses on 4 jihadists idiots who try to blow up something to become martyrs. It's essentially a comedy but also a satire on those who get wrapped up in what they supposedly believe in.

Morris is never one to hold back on a subject so more than likely we'll be hearing alot about this when it hits the cinema. It's done it's run at the Sundance Film Festival to great reviews so thats one comfort in knowing that it's more hit than miss!

No release date as of yet for UK & Irish release but hopefully it'll be soon, haven't seen a good comedy in a long time! Here's a clip that was released earlier from the film:

This is an oldie but still a classic. It's an animation in which a guy took sprites from both games to make an insane game!

Bah!! If only this existed! The fight ends at around 7 minutes but it's still excellent!

Here's another compilation of godawful driving accidents!

I'm pretty sure if I was let behind a steering wheel my picture would be here somewhere.

When your passenger asks you to stop for a piss, listen to him next time!

Here's a compilation of some proper "widow-maker" food.

Make sure you've the ambulance on speed dial before you munch on these monster fuckers!.....................you might want to get onto the plumber to unblock your toilet, too!

HO.............LEE.....................SHIT!

This portraits are from an American artist and tattoo artist Cliff Maynard. Here he makes pictures by using the ends of joints!

Christ, you really can make art outta nothing.

And behold, for he hath reached out and called.............."dibs after you!"
portraits_made_out_of_used_joint_filters_03

portraits_made_out_of_used_joint_filters_03

I think this guy will learn to clean his Ferrari away from the dangers of outside.

Ba-Dum-Bum.................PISH!!

Banksy, to those who don't know him, is an anonymous graffiti artist famous for his random public display of art around the world. There's notions that he came from somewhere near Bristol, England, and that he's in his late 30's but nobody actually knows for sure.

Here's a collection of his street art and exhibitions, many of which he uses pre-made stencils so he sprays his art on a wall quickly to not get caught or noticed! Smart bastard.

Tweety Bird - The "Strung out on Heroin" years

banksy street art modern show 18 in Banksy Street Art Art Finds
New Inspirations

These sicks fucks pumped so much steroids into themselves that they look like they packed balloons under their skin! Fuck!!

Imagine starting a fight with these monsters? It'd be like throwing a grain of sand at Mt. Everest!

"MEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAT!!!!"

You know what they say about Murphy's Law, "Anything that can go wrong.................then you better come up with a damn good story for the insurance company!!"

Some of these beggar belief while others show why plank-thick idiots shouldn't be let near a steering wheel!

"OH SHIIIIIII.............."

Here's some bizzare photos by a chinese photographer Li Wei (His name is leway?).

They're not photoshopped but ya have to wonder how the hell the crazy bastard did them! Fuck knows what kind of porno he'd produce if he was in that business!

"You don't have my money?............ok, you die naw!!"

Here's a small feature from EmpireOnline on Chuck Norris's movies through the years with comments from the man himself. Some interesting ones here, actually..............even if most his movies were cack, nowadays they're memorable in terms of face-kicking and commie killing!

Here's Chuck doing what he does best, kicking the shit out of a dog in the Outback!............oooook?

Check this site out for some......eh.......truthful facts about Chuck:
www.chucknorrisfacts.com

Down there in India they tend to love their OTT action movies, and when I mean OTT check these clips out:

The funny thing is (besides the action) is that the heros are ugly as fuck and could do with losing a few pounds.

Glorious!!

Another video with a collection of popular TV shows & movies to create a catchy number.

How many of these clips can you name in the video?

This odd little shit is called a Lyrebird and has a special talent for imitating noises! Christ, imagine if you kept this thing in your house!

Here the little freak is imitating noises from a nearby construction site in L.A. These are some of the noises it does:

1. Hammer
2. Chainsaw
3. Jack hammer
4. Lawn mower hitting sticks
5. Leaf blower starting
6. Power drill
7. Wood saw
8. Human voices
9. Two-way radio
10.Worker whistling

Here it is again with David Attenborough:

Here's a vid someone complied together of Clarkson sound effects to make a song!

Somebody has waaaaay too much time on their hands...........it's good, though!

If ya hate Top Gear and Clarkson this is probably going to send you into a violent rage as he seems to do himself anyways!

Powersilde, powerslide, powerslide, powerslide, powerslide...............

I remember seeing this a few years ago and thinking how bang on the money it was about the transport system in this country. I only came across it again recently and thought I'd slap the clever animation here.

Fast-forward to today and not much seems to have changed, eh?

Following up from Badi: The Turkish E.T. here we have another fine Turkish delight in the form of Rambo! Again, thanks to YouTube this film was saved and the popularity actually got it to be dubbed in English and brought to DVD last year!

His name is Serdar and, well, he puts Rambo to shame with his uncanny ability to wipe out ridiculous amount of bad guys in one go. He breaks down walls with his fists, can dodge bullets and is devestating with that rocket launcher. The best thing about this clip below is the fact that some fucking idiot left rockets all over the place so Serdar could conviently use them! Plus I think his rocket launcher is suffering from ejaculating problems! This surely is high-brow arthouse fun at it's best!!

Gotta love that random jump from nowhere at 2:07

Not quite sure where this is located but it's accepted all over the web as "Irish Supermarket fight"

The guys in blue are the security dishing out some knuckle sandwiches.

Heh, that 1st guy who got knocked the fuck out missed the entire brawl!

Sebastian Kruger is a German artist with a knack for highly realistic charactures. He utilises his freaky talents to create paintings of celebrities and musicians.

You can check his webshite HERE and click "Read more" down below to view a gallery of his work.

Another thing if I had too much money I'd buy! Shite!

I'm pretty sure Arnie smokes sticks of TNT, too!

Ever in one of those predicaments where you want to watch a movie but haven't a clue on what ya want to watch?

IMDB's well-known list consists some of the greatest films you know (and don't know)

Handy list to brush through when you're stuck!

Top 250 Films

And no, you're not going to find Twilight in there!

"......and then they found out I was building all sorts of crap for a vigilante called Batman......"

It's seems to be a known fact that a picture says a 1000 words. Here, though, we have a collection of pics that make you think "What.......the fuck?"

Seriously, some of these don't even make a lick of fucking sense!

"Help! My tent has shrunken on me! For the love of God, help me!!"

Ah supercars, what an annoyance, eh? They cost you so much money that you don't have enough to buy a tub of Turtle Wax to maintain them!

Here's a gallery of unloved supercars some fucktards left to rot away!

"Now that I got my Ferrari I'll put it in here so nobody can touch it.......not even me!!"

Yep, a new Predator movie is coming out this year to help repair the name from the damage the Alien Versus Predator movies caused.............fuck, they were bad movies that managed to rape 2 legendary franchises.

Anywho, this new film is based on a script by Robert Rodriguez (Dusk Till Dawn, Desperado, Sin City) who is also on producing duties. No details about the plot have been revealed yet but it's thought that a bunch humans were captured, brought to their planet and then set free in the wild for hunting.

Now, we've heard this shit too many times before, but they say they want to bring the Predator name back and create a seperate movie from the Arnie classic (Predator 2 was crap!) so I'm gonna hold my breath for the actual trailer which will be released on March 18th with a planned cinema release for August 11th.

Anywho, check out the sneak footage with commentary from Robert Rodriguez on the site here
and IMDB

Background pic from the site, is that the original Predator costume, eh?

I really hope they don't fuck this one up badly! As long as it's doesn't go near the kitten-soft friendly-ness of the 1st AVP or the................whatever the fuck they thought they were doing for the 2nd AVP I'll probably be happy!

Speaking of which, how many times have you seen a Predator do this?

From IMDB:

As a toxin begins to turn the residents of Ogden Marsh, Iowa into violent psychopaths, sheriff David Dutton (Olyphant) tries to make sense of the situation while he, his wife (Mitchell), and two other unaffected townspeople band together in a fight for survival.

The Crazies is a remake of the 1973 film of the same name from zombie mogul George A. Romero and stars Timothy Olyphant and Radha Mitchell.

The film takes off and establishes the main threat to our characters pretty quickly, no fucking around then. The townspeople in a small community begin to act in an unusual and violent manner and it's not long before sheriff David Dutton (Olyphant) realises some sort of shit is looming towards his fan.

After an early incident which leaves him unpopular within his community his pleas are left unheard as he tries to find the root of what's causing the locals to act so strangely. It turns out a virus is spreading and is causing people to become sort of like zoned-out folk with murderous tendencies (Not entirely zombies as these infected people still maintain some intelligence during most of their infection period.........they just get nasty rashes and manky veins on their faces) Sorta like a having a bad cold, then; blank-minded & waiting for an excuse to kill all around you.

If you know your horror films then this film isn't going to wow you with anything new to the table but it doesn't try to pretend to, either. Plenty of cheap (some effective) thrills and it moves fast enough for you not to lose your interest. Plenty of cliches are here but director Breck Eisner does fine in implementing most of them with a constant tone of doom and gloom. Acting is fine, too, with Olyphant slapping in another solid role.

The main problem is that, bar 2 - 3 scenes, most times you'll know what's going to happen next which in turn ruins the impending shocks, especially if you're a horror veteren! It isn't the most original film ever printed onto celluloid!

That being said, if you need some cheap scares and something that won't turn your brain into goo from thinking too much then you can do far worse than this.

"So I've been trying this new moisturiser, lately...."

Scorsese has directed some of the greatest films of nearly the last 4 decades (Let's see............Taxi Driver, Goodfellas, Raging Bull, The Departed, The Aviator, Gangs Of New York............you get the idea)

Here is a feature on Total Film focusing on the 25 greatest moments from his collection of legendary films.

Click here for some interesting trivia on Goodfellas

So, here's a long-awaited documentary on one of the most revered comedians of all time. It's been 3 years in production and focuses on the man himself with interviews from his friends and families.

A unique animation style is used to illustrate the story of Hick's climb from childhood, to the comedy circuit, to his death and ultimately to his to legendary status. Unseen footage is also including in this and from the reviews from festival screenings are pointing to this to be a great documentary on the man.

The film is set to be released this summer and should be well worth the watch

Movie Poster:

During the 80's the Turks released many rip-offs of Hollywood blockbusters like Superman, Star Wars and Rambo and they were fuckin' awful. Many of these films just used snippets of these movies badly in the background and made some awful mixes of said soundtracks. Thanks to YouTube, though, they've been rescued from obscurity and have developed a cult following.

This one in particular is known as Badi: The Turkish E.T. If anything it's creepy as fuck, they let kids watch this? That suit is disturbing, too, it looks like a melted elastic band..............or at least a costume for a bigger actor!

That moment when it gives the father the evil look, makes a terrifying noise and realises some dry ice is what makes this clip.........*shudders*

So, they're rebooting the Suprman franchise again after the disappointing box-office turn of Superman Returns. To help get the movie on track The Dark Knight director Christopher Nolan had been called in to help construct the film.

So, apparently the latest fashion trend these days down in Limerick is canes for the finer scobe pimp. L.A., The Bronx, or the streets of Compton have nothing on these...........*cough*...........gangsters! What's next, plastic teeth?

"'Ere, will ya buy us some fags, bai?"

The 80's was a strange time, gammy (but great) music, gammy fashion, and OTT action movies. Arnie, Sly, & Chuck Norris were the kings of extreme action movies during the Cold War period with many of their films dealing with "outside terrors" / Eurotrash villians. Back in the heyday it was all shiny, gigantic muscles and an endless bodycount of commie soldiers, a much simplier time then.

America wanted the compensation of them kicking everyone's ass after their collosal fucknut of a period in Vietnam where they got brutally hammered. Many of the bigger films have dated badly and are now seen as comedy gold, especially Chuck's movies (Delta Force, Missing In Action series). I think Commando is the best though cuz of the almost poetry-like puns "I eat Green Berets for breakvast, and right now, I'm very 'ungry!!"

Here's a fine example of then-typical action movie poster, Invasion U.S.A. (1985), that fed to the fears of tensions between the USA and USSR. The poster is pretty much similiar to many 80's movies;
Guns - Check, Explosions - Check, Government building - Check, Helichopters - Check, Excuse to show exposed chest - Check!

Look at that cold, unphased, thousand-yard stare on Chuck as he randomly fires his Uzis. That's the look of a man having a flashback to when he was neck deep in shit at a P.O.W. camp in 'Nam before him and his buddy, Charlie, escaped...................Charlie obviously died during the escape and now Chuck ain't gonna take no shit from no goddamn invading commies!!

Naturally many, many truckloads of shitty rip-offs came along the tailcoats of these succesful action vehicles of the time. It was always essential to feature an inhuman lead star with muscles you could grate cheese off and acting that would make a plank of wood seem like the next Marlon Brando!

What was also essential in an 80's action movie was villians who couldn't shoot for shit, at least 1 death involving a guy falling off a balcony / gaurd tower, dreadful music, "witty" puns after heartlessly killing someone, endless amounts of ammo, grenade / rocket explosions that sent 2 - 4 commie soldiers into the air and an almost God-like lead star who never got hurt..........................he also must be in the Special Forces / Marines / Law Enforcement! American hostages / Drug Cartels were basically the "plot" of such movies, too.

This clip below is from a bargain basement Commando rip-off called Deadly Prey. Not quite sure what it's about but it's got the essential 80's cliches intact, plus a man gets beaten with his own dismembered arm!
(A similiar scene was never filmed in Commando where after Arnie lops a guy's arm off, the armless guy screams and Arnie hits him over the head with his limb telling him "Need a hand?" It was never filmed as it was deemed a bit too sinister................but they were fine with him running through a garden blasting everyone the fuck away?)

Check these paintings out! If you think they're real, think again!

She always did have a drinking problem...................*Ba-Dum-Bum...............PISH!!*

Well, Im a big David Attenborough fan and love watching those nature series (He could say the moon is made out of cheese and I'd still believe him!).

The best bits are usually when the animals are lining themselves up to grab a meal, stealthy fuckers! Linky here

"What the fuck!?!...........no........get away from me!..............oh Jesus, NO!............NOOOO!!"

Robosteel is an Irish-based company who specialises in creating movie sculptures outta metal and selling 'em off.

This one here is Optimus Prime from Transformers.

Hmm, I bet the girls like their things big & hard, alright!

Looks good, right? Got €5,500 to spare?

This is from a Ukraine artist Ksenyia Simonova who appeared on the Ukraine's equivilent to "America's Got Talent".................the main difference being that this person has a sickeningly good talent! She tells a story on how WWII affected the country Ukraine:

"She begins by creating a scene showing a couple sitting holding hands on a bench under a starry sky, but then warplanes appear and the happy scene is obliterated.

It is replaced by a woman’s face crying, but then a baby arrives and the woman smiles again. Once again war returns and Miss Simonova throws the sand into chaos from which a young woman’s face appears.

She quickly becomes an old widow, her face wrinkled and sad, before the image turns into a monument to an Unknown Soldier.

This outdoor scene becomes framed by a window as if the viewer is looking out on the monument from within a house.

In the final scene, a mother and child appear inside and a man standing outside, with his hands pressed against the glass, saying goodbye.

The Great Patriotic War, as it is called in Ukraine, resulted in one in four of the population being killed with eight to 11 million deaths out of a population of 42 million."

Bah, I can do that! All I need is a sand castle bucket and shovel....................*cough*

This pretty sums up Irish & UK news reporting, lazy bastards!

Like Terminator 2? Me too, but if you're in a rush and want to watch it in 9 minutes (For some reason) then here's a rap breakdown of the movie!

"Deep inside John knows he cant fail because when he grows up he'll be Christian Bale!"

Diving is always something I wouldn't mind doing abroad, though I'm about as good as a brick in water (well, I can thread........a bit) Linky here

"Behind me? Fuck you, you're just gonna disconnect my oxygen tank again!"

From IMDB:

A group of Iraq War veterans looks to clear their name with the U.S. military, who suspect the four men of committing a crime for which they were framed

Yer, that's right! Another franchise been churned out by the Reboot-Factory. No Mr.T this time as apparently he didn't want the film to be associated with his cameo (Fine, keep selling your fuckin' Snickers then) The actors who played Face & Murdoch in the TV show will be back though it's highly unlikely George Peppard (Hannibal) will make an appearance....................eh................considering he's dead and all.

Eh..............yea, seems very low-key all right............................did that tank falling to earth shoot a plane down? And Mr.T doesn't say "Homey", he's says "Foo'!"

It's the 1st trailer and not many people were impressed so unless they muster something more attractive for the 2nd trailer this could be a forgettable movie. Bit of a shame, really!

The New Spring Collection at Tk-Max

From IMDB:

THE EXPENDABLES is a hard-hitting action/thriller about a group of mercenaries hired to infiltrate a South American country and overthrow its ruthless dictator. Once the mission begins, the men realize things arent quite as they appear, finding themselves caught in a dangerous web of deceit and betrayal. With their mission thwarted and an innocent life in danger, the men struggle with an even tougher challenge one that threatens to destroy this band of brothers.

Come on, Stallone? Statham? Li? Rourke? Lundgren? Willis? Arnie? Roberts? Austin? This is gonna be a classic OTT, violent, popcorn action flick time machine that only goes back to the 80's. It's essentially a nostalgic throwback to those action movies of yesteryear and it's out in August. Definitely seeing this one in the cinema!

Stallone might not be the greatest actor but, dammit, he knows what the fans want! I still think Rambo 4 was the best comedy of 2008, I never laughed so hard in the cinema as he brutally turned everyone into red mist! Plus there's gonna be a scene with just Sly, Willis, and Arnie taunting each other (The 3 biggest action stars of the 80's & 90's)

Don't be expecting Oscar-worthy arthouse fun here, if you loved old-skool action flicks then this is the one for you!

Here's a Danish movie poster shamelessly throwing in the Willis / Arnie cameo!

When piercing your willy is never enough! Linky here

Ma............Da..................meet my new wife!

Here's some interesting pics and info on how they capture them at the right moment!

....and to add that special taste to your Chicken & Mushroom pie, just load up your Glock 9mm.....

Nothing like having shit inked on your body forever, dumbasses! Link here

"Oh, what a lovely.........eh...........hmm!"

Try getting yourselves one of these houses, then!

Perfect for hiding from the fuzz........................or Zombies

From IMDB:

The story of how an archer in the service of King Richard the Lionheart became to be known as Robin Hood, the famous archer and outlaw of English Folklore. Beginning after the Death of King Richard at the Siege of Chalus Chabrol, the film follows Robin on his rise to infamy among the English Barons and the newly crowned King John. Featuring historically accurate characters such as Sir William Marshall and grounded in reality (in a similar way to Gladiator), this is not Robin Hood as you have seen him before, rather the making of the legend we have come to know him as now.

So this is the 2nd trailer for another take on the man and his merry band of hooligans.

This time Ridley Scott & Russell Crowe are taking a more serious and truthful approach to the legend's origin. Considering these 2 have a few projects under their belts (Gladiator, American Gangster) I doubt this won't be too disappointing!

Looks good, but I imagine the major downfall of this film will be the lack of Bryan Adams! *cough*

Nothing better than when you get a picture on the right (or wrong) moment in this gallery!

Bullseye!!

A top 10 of Medevial Russian devices that were used on some poor sods................stealing vodka, probably.

Bit of an extreme way to juice your oranges, no?

From BBC:

The bunker is accessed via a metal hatch

A nuclear bunker in Derbyshire has sold for £20,600 in an online eBay auction.

The decommissioned Cold War bunker, built in 1959 into a field in the Peak District, attracted 42 bids and hundreds of hits.

The bunker, which sits on a 2,756 sq ft plot, has lighting and a phone line and can be used as living accommodation for short periods.

It was described by the private seller as "a rare opportunity to acquire a valuable piece of Cold War history".

'Rare' sale

The bunker was built as a monitoring post by the Royal Observer Corps (ROC), amid the threat of nuclear attack, but decommissioned after the collapse of the Soviet Union.

It is accessed via a metal hatch and shaft, and a 15ft (4.5m) ladder leads to two rooms - one for a chemical toilet and the other, of 15ft x 7ft 6in (4.5m x 2.3m), for the monitoring equipment.

Two ventilation shafts are built in and much of the original equipment is still in place.

The seller said: "The bunker can continue to be used as limited living accommodation for short periods or adventure holidays.

"ROC posts rarely come on to the market, especially in such well preserved condition."

I dunno about you but I know where the hell I'm going just before they set the nukes off!

This for a Philips Carousel cinema television with a screen ratio of 21:9 (Widescreen tvs are 16:9 while the normal tvs after that are 4:3) I thought I'd give this ad a mention as it was cleverly done in one take:

http://hcc.techradar.com/files/hcc_content/Cinema_21x9_lifestyle_shot_wall.jpg

Damn, if I was crapping gold eggs I'd have this baby banged up on me wall in no time!.............and yea, that ambient lighting surrounding it comes from the TV!

YouTube is great, innit? When you're not looking up people making fools of themselves on a global scale or cats doing stupid fucking things you have access to practically the best music library. Great for finding those tunes you forgot about or, in my case, looking up soundtracks off films.

This one in particular is the theme to Micheal Mann's Last Of The Mohicans (1992), a good flick I haven't watched in ages. The choon is known as The Gael by Dougie Maclean, check out some of the live covers too.

So, this could be one of the biggest movies of the year and nobody knows fuck-all about it. This is Christopher Nolan's follow-up movie to his monster successful flick The Dark Knight back in 2008 with a reported budget of about $200 million.

From IMDB:

In a world where technology exists to enter the human mind through dream invasion, a single idea within one's mind can be the most dangerous weapon or the most valuable asset.

Ah, glad that makes perfect sense, then! Still, Nolan hasn't made 1 bad film in his 7 movie career (Might not seem much but he has proven himself to be one of the best directors of the last decade) and this is his 1st film he has written since his debut film, Following, back in '98. Plus there's a great collection of great actor's on board for this (Leo DiCap, Micheal Caine, Cillian Murphy, Tom Hardy and Tom Berenger if you any of you remember him!)

Yikes, though the trailer practically gives fuck all away in terms of plot it is looking to be quite a different film from the others in the summer. The Matrix story comparisons are been thrown around but Nolan is a better storyteller than to rehash a well-known idea like that...................at least I hope he is.

Another remake? "Meh" I hear ya say? Well, you could be right by next month but for now all we got to go on is the latest trailer for Clash Of The Titans.

From IMDB:
In Clash of the Titans, the ultimate struggle for power pits men against kings and kings against gods. But the war between the gods themselves could destroy the world. Born of a god but raised as a man, Perseus (Sam Worthington) is helpless to save his family from Hades (Ralph Fiennes), vengeful god of the underworld. With nothing left to lose, Perseus volunteers to lead a dangerous mission to defeat Hades before he can seize power from Zeus (Liam Neeson) and unleash hell on Earth. Leading a daring band of warriors, Perseus sets off on a perilous journey deep into forbidden worlds. Battling unholy demons and fearsome beasts, he will only survive if he can accept his power as a god, defy his fate and create his own destiny.

I remember seeing the original as a kid and loving the greek mythical oddness to it. The stopmotion creatures, the tomato sauce-thick blood, and the "flying" horse Pegasus.

But as soon as I heard they were remaking this it just felt like another remake stick to beat the dead horse with. However, as stories came out we learned that, well shit, they want to take this one seriously and actually have a coherent film. Check out the latest trailer:

Not too shabby, seems like it'll be a good popcorn flick. Liam Neeson has one hell of a beard on him, he could chop logs with that thing! The main actor, Aussie Sam Worthington, has had some catapult into Hollywood in the past year with Avatar & Terminator Salvation leads already under his belt. Not bad for someone who was yer average TV bloke to leading multi-million dollar films practically overnight!

That big fucker at the end is known as The Kraken, he's had a bit of a face-lift as you can see:

Ugly fucker in '81

Ugly fucker in...........eh..........'10?

So, the Tin Man is back in May to start off another round of summer fuckbusters. While I didn't think much of the 1st one it was far from being a shitty movie. All the usual sequel mod-cons are in place (More characters, higher ante, shiny stuff, bigger budget, etc) as well as the humour so, who knows......

From IMDB:

Synopsisisisisis: With the world now aware of his dual life as the armored superhero Iron Man, billionaire inventor Tony Stark (Robert Downey Jr.) faces pressure from the government, the press, and the public to share his technology with the military. Unwilling to let go of his invention, Stark, along with Pepper Potts (Gwyneth Paltrow), and James "Rhodey" Rhodes (Don Cheadle) at his side, must forge new alliances -- and confront powerful enemies.

Right so............I want that fuckin' suitcase!

It does look good and I think it's a better trailer than the 1st. We get a better understanding of what's going on this time round, especially that 2nd "Iron Man" who is known as War Machine (Don Cheadle)

From the IMDB page:

Sam Flynn, the tech-savvy 27-year-old son of Kevin Flynn, looks into his father's disappearance and finds himself pulled into the same world of fierce programs and gladiatorial games where his father has been living for 25 years. Along with Kevin's loyal confidant, father and son embark on a life-and-death journey across a visually-stunning cyber universe that has become far more advanced and exceedingly dangerous.

So we finally get a look at where they're taking Tron. I have to say, it's looking pretty damn slick!! Plus we get a better look at the younger version of Jeff Bridges:

I've heard of Botox but Jeff, man, you're just taking the piss now!

This definitely seems like a more dark-toned film than the 1st and the visuals seem to have come along nicely since the "test" footage that was released last year:

So, will this be worth seeing, especially in 3D? I say so as the Tron-elements will probably be whored out to justify 3D cinema even further and the premise seems interesting, too. I won't be seeing it in IMAX, though......................the beauty of living in Ireland! Cunts!

Anywho............Jeff Bridges + Daft Punk soundtrack = My ass in a cinema seat!

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